John Haydon (1967-2020): The Courage to Continue

February 17, 2020      Roger Craver


John Haydon, 53, beloved and inspirational fundraising missionary, teacher and coach is dead.

A familiar and enthusiastic presence at conferences and online, John offered practical and always-helpful advice and insights on digital marketing and fundraising.  From improving a website to making the most of monthly giving and everything in between he never lost focus on his primary concern – the proper care and retention of donors.

John did far more than generously share his insights at conferences throughout the U.S. – gatherings like CauseCamp, The Nonprofit Storytelling Conference,, New England Federation of Human Societies, New Media Expo, BBCon, regional AFPs, Boys & Girls Club, Jewish Family Services, and many more. In an extraordinary act of generosity he shared his public battle with a rare form of cancer.

Despite his illness John demonstrated the courage to continue. While battling the disease, he  was able complete a final book.  A lasting legacy and gift to all of us.

Kivi Leroux Miller of Bold and Bright Media led a team of four editors as they rushed to get John’s book, DonorCARE: How to Keep Donors Coming Back AFTER the First Gift, ready for release in March. You can reserve your copy here.

You’ll want to view tributes from many of John’s friends and colleagues in this this piece by Chris Strub in Forbes.

In addition, The Agitator asked Tom Ahern to share his thoughts on his friend John.  Tom’s moving tribute follows.

Thank you John.  Thank you for sharing your wisdom.  Thank you for your courage.

Roger

Tom Ahern Remembers John Haydon

I first met John Haydon in the flesh at O’Hare in March 2017. He was flying to Lincoln, Nebraska, to speak at Cause Camp. So was Dan Pallota. So was I. We were all at the same, last gate, where the smaller jets huddle. John did the introductions.

Cause Camp was great (a passionate string quartet bowed away during lunch). Dan was great (I’d seen his TED Talk, but never live; he’s so g-d right about the self-stunting business habits of nonprofits).

And John Haydon was great. He owned that stage. The audience loved his energy, his wit, his insights, his clarity. I couldn’t stop shooting pix of his presentation, for my archives.

And then, because it’s Lincoln and there aren’t all that many flights, we met again the next day at the airport, with a couple of hours of downtime. I asked him some online-guru-related questions. John explained stuff. I took notes. We laughed a lot. An easy friendship was born. And maybe that was John in a nutshell: “An easy friendship was born.”

John was easy to be around. We were a generation apart; our age difference played no role. He never stopped teaching me what I needed to hear. At first, it was about our shared work, sure. But John was a father, a devout Buddhist, a lover of Kate. He exercised daily and didn’t drink. He was a reader and philosopher. He’d majored in songwriting. He’d played in a band for years.

He taught me more about life. He gave me a fresh perspective. When I first met John, I was tired and bored. He reminded me (as he did his 41,000 Twitter followers, among others) that philanthropy matters on this suffering planet … that fundraising is a responsible ministry in a world of hurt … SO do it well, please: a lot of people depend on you!

Nine months after Cause Camp, John Haydon, just past 50, found a small lump up near his collarbone. It turned out to be malignant.

John did what almost no one else would think to do: he decided to share his medical journey with the world, warts and all. He started a Facebook group called “Watch John Beat Cancer.”

Every time he underwent chemo or some other attempted cure, he’d sit in his car, catching his breath, gathering his scrambled thoughts, and flip on an iPhone.

He’d talk for a few frank minutes about where he was in his treatment and how he felt at the moment (mostly “like shit”). His half-wild dog companion, Otis, manned the back seat.

John Haydon fully expected to triumph.

The cancer was shockingly aggressive. In December 2019, we walked together through Mt. Auburn Cemetery, near his home in Cambridge, Massachusetts. Mt. Auburn is a beautiful place, as much an arboretum as a graveyard. While we walked, he showed me new scans of his tumor. It was everywhere in his torso: crushing his organs, taking over his body, eating him alive.

Pretty much until the end, John expected to triumph. Instead, you have his last book.

Despite “excruciating pain” (as he confessed) in his final three months, John banged out the manuscript. Alongside his son, Guthrie, he called this book his legacy. A team of volunteer editors rushed it to publication. John saw the cover, but didn’t make it to publication day.

As the foreword says, “You are John Haydon’s legacy.”

It’s a prescriptive book about how to fundraise well, with compassion, with power.

In it, John explains his signature DonorCARE approach toward improved donor retention, improved average gift size, improved lifetime value … and more: maybe even how we should see ourselves as fundraisers, if we strive to succeed.

It’s also a book about living to the limit … when you know you’re dying.

Tom

 

15 responses to “John Haydon (1967-2020): The Courage to Continue”

  1. Mohamed says:

    Je suis triste d’apprendre la mort de John Haydon.
    Pas de mots pour exprimer ma tristesse.
    Tu es injuste Vie!
    A jamais avec ton enthousiasme dans nos cœurs !
    Que Dieu te bénisse.
    Mohamed

  2. What a beautiful tribute to a beautiful human being. He will be missed. I had the privilege to get a sneak peek of John’s book. I highly recommend it.

  3. Gail Perry says:

    Thanks Tom and Roger,
    John Haydon was inspirational every step of the way. As a fundraising guru, he was smart, generous, delightful, and wise.

    As he faced his struggle with cancer, he was inspirational – reminding us about the most important thing of all – how to live a life. Every step of the way. What a lovely soul. We miss him.

  4. What a lovely testimonial, Roger and Tom.

  5. Jay Love says:

    Beautiful, thanks Roger for sharing Tom’s and other’s about our friend John. I am betting his memory is everlasting…

  6. Pamela Grow says:

    Thank you, Tom, for this lovely tribute to someone I knew as a special friend and partner in training. For those who are interested in reading more about the profound impact John had on our sector, here’s a lovely homage on Forbes: https://www.forbes.com/sites/chrisstrub/2020/02/13/johnhaydon/#59f2800413bb

  7. Thank you Roger, Tom for sharing this memory and recognition. I unfortunately never had the chance to meet John in person, but we talked on the phone a few times as I invited him to speak on Cape Cod the end of January and we weren’t sure if it was all going to work out especially after I saw his moving video at the cemetery. We talked about plan B. A week before the session John told me he had gone in hospice he let me know right away and Julia Campbell stepped up graciously to fill in. We all knew John was there in spirit with us.

    We talked about his son and how proud he was of him so close to making Eagle Scout and my thoughts and prayers go out to Kate and Guthrie and John’s family and his greater fundraising family.

    #Cancer sucks!

    What a tremendous gift John has left us with his books, his webinars and the message that we all need to take care of each other as we don’t know how long we have here on earth…

    John is truly the next person you hope to meet in heaven! Let’s honor his legacy through DonorCARE and care of each other. Erica

  8. Brian Saber says:

    Thank you, Roger.

    We have lost one of our field’s most vibrant, giving members. He defined generosity through his spirit and collegiality.

    Brian

  9. Kathy Swayze says:

    Thank you for this tribute Roger and Tom. I met John at my first ever NTEN conference (too many years ago to pinpoint a date.) He was on an open forum panel. I recall a young woman standing up to ask a question, she began, “Oh my God, it’s such an honor to be in the same room with you John and I can’t believe I get to talk to you today.” She thanked him for all his wisdom. Her admiration was genuine and adorable. On that day, John might as well have been John Lennon or Joni Mitchell. To her, and to all of us, John was a bright shining star. 🌟

  10. Marjorie Fine says:

    Just beautiful. Thank you. I didn’t know him at all but read everything I could concerning his wisdom on fundraising. And I shared it with all the groups I coach-imagine how many like me are out there sharing the gospel of John? His memory and legacy are surely a blessing.

  11. Thank you Roger and Tom for this wonderful tribute to a uniquely wonderful man. John was an inspiration in his work, but also in his life. How he managed optimism about his experience was inspiring. I don’t think he was delusional about the outcome, I think he was being present, taking his Buddhist teachings and living them. The past and future are real illusions, there is only the now. We’re all better off for having known him.

  12. Nancy Schwartz says:

    Yes, that’s John. Beautifully shared.

  13. Shanon Doolittle says:

    Like his hero, Johnny Cash, John was a special one. One of the greatest of the greats. My heart swells reading this tribute. Thanks, gentlemen! ❤️

  14. Laura Haydon says:

    Beautiful tribute to John. Thank you for writing And for all who shared their love and stories in comments. It’s comforting to read and know how rich he was in life through all of you!

  15. […] Conference, which takes place later this month in Baltimore, MD. There are many online tributes by The Agitator, Bloomerang and Forbes Magazine . And of course on Facebook, where he shared so much about his […]