Simone Joyaux Is Dead
Simone Joyaux, a beloved shit-disturber and hell-raiser, who battled tirelessly to improve our sector by applying deep devotion, abundant energy, and development skills highly honed by outrage against injustice and inequality, is dead.
The 44-year veteran of board development, strategic planning and organizational management, died Sunday, May 2nd in Providence, Rhode Island of a massive stroke. She is survived by her life partner Tom Ahern
As you’ll see from this sampling of the tributes that poured into the Caring Bridge site over the weekend Simone touched hundreds of lives in myriad ways. To some she was a mentor…to others a great teacher…and yet others that consultant who helped turn around their organization. The descriptors used by colleagues in these tributes tell you so much about Simone.
Simone was an activist’s activist. She not only devoted years and years to the cause of women’s rights, civil rights, and human dignity. Over the years I witnessed not only her skill but her immense generosity and that of her partner Tom Ahern. They targeted their philanthropy into many of the same causes to which they devoted their professional skills.
Simone’s drive to effect change was lubricated by a highly energized yet constructive sense of outrage. She never complained for the sake of complaining. She did get good and properly pissed-off at the complacent, the slothful and those who failed to champion the underdog. She didn’t mince words and any target of her concern or wrath had no doubt where she stood. For example, there was nothing subtle or ambiguous about her attempt for poorly performing boards as plainly seen by the title of her book Firing Lousy Boards.
I can’t begin to count the number of times Simone would reply to an Agitator post. Whether she was cheerleading or criticizing it meant a lot just to know she was logged-on and eagle-eyed. I loved her style of often ending a commentwith a booster shot to make sure we wouldn’t ease up. Here’s a excerpt from a typical Simone comment to a post tilted Milking Le Après Trump Déluge:
“How’s that unearned privilege working for each of us and our society? Me = unearned privilege. As I say: I’m a white, heterosexual, well-educate, affluent woman. I win except for my gender – because it’s a disadvantage to be a woman in the USA. (The US is ranked #53 in countries … for gender parity. And by the way, a few years ago the US was #45. Already lousy enough and now more lousy?!)
Agitate, Roger. Keep agitating.
Simone
Beyond the Agitator Simone and I shared a conspiratorial joy in encouraging the profession to raise more hell and dig itself out of the too-frequent mire of complacency. One of our last plots involved designing a program for the AFP titled, Rebels, Renegades and Pioneers that went after some of our industry’s sacred cows.
For Simone, no fundraiser worth the title should have anything but a full-bore commitment to continuing education. Not only did Simone have a raft of professional accreditations –ACFRE, Adv Dip, FAFP, Certificate in Philanthropic Psychology—she was tireless in advancing the cause of fundraising and philanthropic education for other in the form of keynote presentations, webinars, conferences, books and her 21 years tenure as an adjunct faculty member for the Master of Arts in Philanthropy and Development at Saint Mary’s University Minnesota.
Books by Simone
Firing Lousy Board Members. You’ll learn how to find the right board members and enable them to be successful. Review the table of contents and reviewer comments.
Keep Your Donors. See how you can make disappointing donor rates a thing of the past. Review the table of contents and reviewer comments.
Strategic Fund Development . This definitive book – now in its 3rd edition—is a must for your library. Review the table of contents and reviewer comments.
A Website Full of Resources You’ll Treasure
To get a bird’s eye view of Simone’s contributions to our field take tour of her website. It’s a real treasure trove and a fitting legacy of this remarkable woman.
- Simone’s Learning Center
- Her blog Simone Uncensored
- A collection of Podcasts and Videos featuring Simone’s insights in her inimitable voice
- Her collection of Commentary and Essays and Special Articles reflecting the genuine Simone at her outraged best.
In addition, you won’t want to miss here candid, helpful tips and how-tos captured for all of us on Bloomerang.
My soul aches and my brain is twisted by the sudden, unexpected loss of Simone. So, I’m sure I’ve overlooked much of significance in her generous career. Simone was never selfish. She gave countless hours of involvement and support for the Showcase of Fundraising Innovation and Inspiration (SOFII)… as Chair of the Advisory Board of the Centre for Sustainable Philanthropy …and in her work over the years as Board Member and Board Chair for Planned Parenthood of Southern New England.
Life is short. Time is precious. Thank you, Simone, for raising hell and making the most of yours.
Roger
P.S. Please share your thoughts and remembrances of Simone with other Agitator readers. Thank you.
42 responses to “Simone Joyaux Is Dead”
Behavioral Science Q & A
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This is wonderful, Roger! She was all that and more. The tributes are beautiful. She was beautiful, inside and out. Holding her family and Tom in my heart and thoughts.
Roger, a beautiful tribute to a beautiful woman warrior. Thank you. In her honour, let’s continue fighting for a better, kinder world filled with compassion and justice.
Your headline was a true shock. Thank you for letting us know, and for the lovely tribute. Simone was a pioneer. Sometimes an iconoclast, but always, always true to the heart and soul of the philanthropic profession and donor journey. I recently re-read an article she wrote almost two decades ago, that was as timely and true today as it was then. Maybe more so, as she saw through the b.s. and could see what others should see well before they could. My heart goes out to all who had the privilege to know her closely. Especially Tom. May her memory be a blessing.
I had the pleasure of seeing Simone in action twice at AFC USA and in NZ. Such passion and straightforward messaging- I loved it!
Thank you Simone and RIP
Thank you Roger for this fitting tribute to one of the most amazing, inspiring, powerful forces of nature that I have ever come across in my decades in the sector. I loved her frankness, frequent use of Anglo-Saxon to fully express her never held back opinions.
Simone inspired the sector and to many women she was a true inspiration as to how and why to take a sledgehammer not any glass ceiling. Tania Little describes her as a her SHero.
We can only imagine Simone is already angry at the governance system wherever she is and kicking ass.
I miss a great friend and colleague and send big hugs to Tom Ahern on this sad day.
Roger – such a lovely articulation of what we’re all thinking this morning. Thank you. Simone was all these things, but she was also the most special, supportive and loving of friends. When she was in your corner you were never in any doubt she was in your corner – routinely diagnosing any support that might be needed and being right there – front and center – to offer it. She was such a pillar of strength – for me and for the many others who were privileged to count her as a friend. I shall miss her very much; her warmth, her kindness and her care for others. My heart goes out to Tom and family.
Simone was a spark that lit up our fundraising world. She will be missed. May her memory be a blessing. Lovely tribute, Roger. My heart goes out to Tom.
Simone befriended me. She loved me. She wrote the forward to my last book, thanks to Steve Nill, for suggesting that. I was tickled beyond belief that she agreed to do it. And she immersed herself in its content beforehand. She was always there for our team at LAPA Fundraising whenever we needed to talk, to lament, to dream again. Thank you, Simone, for living so well. Our heart is with Tom at this moment.
Roger, shocking news…a fitting tribute to an extraordinary woman- who touched and influenced us all in so many different ways. Her many friends and family will mourn her loss, and this profession will miss her voice and her presence. She made a difference. Thx for your thoughtful words, and for reminding us of her many accomplishments.
A moving tribute Roger to a fiery force for good. Every time I saw Simone, she inspired and challenged me. My heart aches and reaches out Tom.
But Simone lives on – in all of us who were captured by her restless spirit.
My life and my career are forever changed thanks to the true and honest mentors Simone provided. Working with her closely over the last two year overhauling the professional development piece of our AFP chapter has been a true blessing. We are scheduled to discuss her book, Strategic Fund Development, at our September book club. I look forward to continuing to learn from her for many years to come. 💕
A beautiful tribute to a beautiful woman, Roger. Thank you for writing it.
Simone Joyaux has long been one of the most memorable women I’ve ever known. A no-bullshit fierce fundraising warrior, she never hesitated to call out the myriad dysfunctions in our sector. But she wasn’t one to piss and moan. Instead, she took concrete action to create change. And she always led with love and humanity.
Strategic Fund Development and Keep Your Donors are two of the four books that have informed my own work tremendously.
Brilliant. Fiery. Persistent. Uncommonly generous. Joyful.
Everyone was changed for the better for knowing Simone. I know I was.
Simone was one of a kind. I did a 6-part workshop with her and when at AFP conference in FL we reconnected and she was more than happy to sit and give advice. I couldn’t wait for her to present at our AFP/Fairfield program in June. From her last email, with the subject: Life and the next few months:
“I’m so excited to develop the Phil Culture thing! Yippee…
I’ll send the handout in advance – for advance distribution. No PPT and no screen sharing. Me. My face. My tacky rings. Etc.”
She loved that I called her quirky. She was! Such a loss. Now, we must thank and release.
I heard Simone speak at a Fundraising 101 seminar I attended almost 30 years ago when I was brand new in this profession. I don’t remember any of the other speakers, but I remember Simone. She was hands down the highlight of that two-day seminar and a real inspiration. I didn’t know her personally (unfortunately), but I’m certain I am just one of the thousands of people whose lives she touched with her wisdom. What a loss for all of us.
Roger what an incredible tribute to one of the most remarkable women I’ve had the privilege to learn from. For my entire career she has been a inspiration, a teacher and a leader. I have all her books, listened to many podcasts, sat and fan-girled in not enough face to face live sessions at FIA and IFC and many times wished Australia wasn’t so far away!! What a tragedy for the world wide fundraising sector to have lost one of our most precious gems!! Much love and wishes to the incredible Tom, her family and dear friends around the world.
As always Roger, spot on with your descriptions of our dear friend Simone. She became a business related friend for me when we were both speak at the Australian fundraising conference in Brisbane. I spoke out about some facet of inequality in our sector and she was in my audience so we of course had to have lunch and bond.
That was nearly 25 years ago, since then we became family friends and she literally became a guiding light inspiration for my granddaughters. (It did not hurt that their school taught French, which she adored!)
I hope and trust the stories of her determination and valor against all odds will live on for generations!
Simone meant so much to me! She was a mentor through her consulting work with my organization, through her writings and her teachings. I quote her daily. My deepest sympathies to Tom and her many friends and followers.
Perfect, Roger. Thank you for painting such a vivid portrait of Sim One, my wife and partner and lover and foremost mentor. About 20 years ago, she dragged my sorry-ass pen out of marketing into the nonprofit world … and what a blessing that became, sharing that purpose day and night, and sharing so many wonderful friends like you and those who are writing their thoughts of her. I feel like I’m relearning her, as I see her through the eyes of those she touched. It would have been 37 years together for us this August 3. I was lost. She found me … and suffered me … and inspired me. It has been an adventure.
With shock, disbelief and shared sorrow, I pen this about my mentor, encourager and faithful friend’s passing on May 2nd. Simone believed in me when I did not believe in me. I will never forget where I was sitting (in my car, head down on the steering wheel) and Simone was in the passenger side when I asked her “Simone, am I in the wrong seat? if yes, how will I know?” I was two years into my first time ever position as an Executive Director of a faith based nonprofit that had just embarked on a multi-year planning grant from the Hartford Foundation for Public Giving and working with Simone as our consultant.
We had literally disassembled the organization to rebuild its infrastructure to function better as a business… As I sat there that day in our organization’s parking lot having posed the question to my new confidant, she simply lifted my face, pushed her glasses up on her nose and said “of course you are the right person. You are not weak, you give deep thought to what needs to be don and weigh the pros/cons and consequences. I have seen you struggle with hard decisions, but when you decide what to move, you, my dear one, you MOVE. I know you are in the right seat because you struggle with your decisions, but you make the decisions.”
Twenty years later, I am planning to retire soon from this nonprofit world that I have grown to love and I leave my nonprofit in a good place because of my skilled, headstrong, outspoken, compassionate and passionate mentor, Simone Joyaux. She cannot be dead, because I feel her spirit in me.
Love always,
Beth
ps. for some fun and levity, she introduced me to you, Tom, for which I am also extremely grateful. I remember walking down main street in
Manchester, CT with you and discussing my plans to open a social enterprise restaurant “Bistro on Main” – we DID that too!
Lovely Roger. I was so hoping I would wake up this morning and this would all have been a bad dream. Her loss to all of us is immense. Her loss to Tom heartbreaking. She was a giant, a warrior woman, a compassionate and articulate leader , a role model, a friend and so many other things. She taught us all so much about how to think and be. Her legacy will endure in our collective hearts and minds.
Beautiful tribute, Roger. She had such a joy for the profession and such integrity. Truly a huge loss. My condolences to Tom and everyone in her orbit.
Thank you Roger for this tribute, so lovely and so true. I cannot believe I will not see, hear and meet her again in person at a future IFC. But I will be hearing and thinking of her many times to come, smiling as I am remembering her advice and bold and honest comments. She was just incredible, amazing and inspiring! I am so grateful to have met her. Thinking of and wishing strength to Tom and all her loved ones. Warmest
Well said Roger. The AFP Alaska Chapter had the privilege to have Simone and Tom share with us a few years back and it was wonderful to hear her speak with conviction, passion and love for our sector, field and each of us as vectors of change. I will personally miss her and send my condolences to Tom.
Simone’s expressive personality and “radical” thoughts about the nonprofit sector are instrumental in my role as a fundraising consultant. The only one-on-one interaction I had with her was to make several novel recommendations to her after reading one of her columns. She responded quickly, with interest, and we shared a few thoughts about the fiction genre. She is missed!
Thank you for such a powerful tribute. What shocking news. The world is better as a result of her tireless work.
Thank you for your beautiful words, Roger. We engaged Simone less than a month ago for Strategic Planning – although we had barely begun, we were already reaping the benefits of her fantastic spirit and intellect. To say that we are gob smacked is the understatement of the century. The world has lost a truly remarkable person… but we are so lucky to have the treasure trove of writings that she left behind.
Simone was my first teacher about fundraising! Her book “Strategic Fund Development” was literally my bible in my first front line job in fundraising. I remember wondering who this very smart person was, and wishing I could meet her.
What a bright light she was. What an inspiration. To honor her – may we all be more impatient with the status quo. May we always raise more hell!
Simone always lifted up the AFP Conference rosters with beauty, class, and conviction. Heather Booth says, “The job of the organizer is to make the obvious explicit” and Simone did that in spades. Of course you need a good board, a good case, a good plan. She made believers of us all and gave us the tools to make it happen.
This is a tragic loss. May she rest in peace. My condolences to Tom and her family.
Such an incredible loss, not only to our profession, but to the world at large. Her bright fire illuminated injustice, shallowness, and indifference to so many issues of our time. Her sense of humor, often with an edge, found the absurdity of unexamined assumptions and obsolete concepts. And her drive for excellence has taught us all.
She was a cherished colleague. I will miss her.
Roger, thank you.
And Tom…
The memories of the two of you, a dinner over a too-small table in a bistro somewhere in Paris. The evenings, sometimes long but never long enough, in Holland, or London, or wherever the fundraising circus was rolling into that week. Simone – always learning, always challenging, always creating, and never afraid to kick my backside or anyone else’s for that matter. To make us better. As if she knew our real potential better than we did. In this moment of loss, I sit in the sadness, safe in the knowledge that her legacy already speaks for itself and that there is so much to celebrate. Thank you Simone. Thank you.
Thank you for your endearing tribute, Roger. Simone was one in a million and impacted millions of professional and volunteer (sometimes unwilling) fundraisers, who were just trying to figure this thing out. She must have been stirring up the universe last week, as both I and my husband were thinking about her, on completely unrelated subjects. May she always remind us to never give up our vision and the value of the work we do.
If I were a believer, I’d be warning those old white guys seen in the portrayals of heaven that Simone was about to arrive to kick their sorry asses into doing better for the humans and creatures of our planet.
Rest in power. May your memory be a revolution.
And Tom, our greatest sympathy for your great loss. And to Simone’s family, the biological ones and all the others she embraced over these too few years.
Roger, a lovely tribute full of truth and love. Thanks for sharing.
I’ve got tears streaming down my face as I read this and all the beautiful comments and sentiments. My only wish is that I’d known her longer and in a deeper way. I’ll admit, my introduction came about through Tom, but it was obvious she was such an inspiration to him and made him the man he is today. I’m so thankful for her influence, not just in Tom’s life, but in the world of fundraising. Reading the comments of so many people I’ve come to admire and appreciate their knowledge and skill… well, suffice to say, Simone’s life had ripple effects that have been cast far and wide and have touched all of us in ways we may never fully understand. I’m grateful for all I’ve learned from her and from this amazingly supportive community.
Thanks for this tribute. Simone more than deserves it. Thank you Simone for you activism, your critical thinking, your contribution to the fundraising sector. Thank you also for the several sometimes lenghty personal conversations we had at several occasion. You can’t imagine the impact you had to me as a fundraiser and a human. I’ll remember the day I had the honnor to bring you to the Brussels Atomium, you did visit as a kid. Leaves us to continue your fight for a better world.
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[…] are small beans. You can leave your own here. And read what Ken Burnett at SOFII has to say, and Roger Craver at Agitator as […]
[…] Simone passed on Sunday from a massive stroke, surprising all of us in the fundraising world. You can read some of the tributes to Simone that are flooding around the world this week here and here. […]
Lovely tribute, Roger. Simone was a total bad-ass and provocateur and will be missed by many, as is evidenced by this amazing thread of memories, stories, and tears. Having worked several conferences with Simone, I will always remember a) the energetic conversations in the hallways after her sessions, and b) you didn’t want to draw the slot after, because she was one tough act to follow.
The title “Simone Uncensored” always cracked me up. As if she could be censored….?!?
My heart goes out to Tom and all the people who loved her. May she continue to inspire us all.
Roger, such a wonderful tribute to a woman who was a GIANT in any field she touched. Teacher, mentor, friend, colleague, as human and real as anyone could be. Like others, tears stream down my face at her loss. I hope that Tom has a strong network to support him, we know he will have so many memories to keep her alive. Thank you for the post and the tribute to Simone.
[…] words, and so many more beautiful thoughts and tributes about Simone, can be found on almost every fundraising blog, publication, and social media […]