1. Integrate – unless something is being physically combined, steer clear.   Buzzword bingo aficionado’s can rest assured this word will show up in your next meeting.
2. Illuminate – this word is used to ironically suggest the consultant will provide what he is incapable of – clarity.
3. Solution – because “product” seems so simple or trite.
4. Leverage – perhaps the most overused and misused term of all and that is saying something.  I’ve yet to see a fulcrum or lever in a meeting and yet this word is pervasive.
5. Relevance – a tricky one since it used to be a useful word but its misuse and overuse relegate it to this trash heap of a list.
6. Synergy – no commentary required.
7. Data-driven – ditto.
8. Actionable – on a roll.
9. Mapping – everything is getting mapped these days and yet “cartographer” never makes its way high up on the list of careers whose demand is increasing.
10. Gobbledygook.  Ok, we cheated a bit.  This is the outcome when combining inappropriate words into sentences and sentences into paragraphs.

And while the world is replete with examples, this one is particularly good (read: idiotic).

The output of this research not only defines the pathways to purchase, but also illuminates ownership of pathway drivers to support the development of potential business strategies. We translate those results into actionable customer mindsets.  By locating the prevailing sentiments within our results, we focus our attention on the linkages that derive a clear, audience-verified, personal value. Most appropriately, this is delivered in the form of a customer perspective that demonstrates the prevailing emotional criteria that will best inform how we can influence a customer decision behavior. We then overlay these mindsets with a “mapping of motivations” where we deduce the most appropriate behavior stimulus (motivation) that best connects the customer values and will generate the required customer response needed for our business drivers.

This is not made up.  Somebody at a major fundraising agency wrote this and then published it.  What’s more, they published it as part of a press release introducing this new, wonderful product.

This post is not just to poke fun at the consultant community, of which DonorVoice for better or worse, is a member.

The misuse of words and the lack of simplicity and clarity in the consulting world makes us all look bad; guilt by association.  It is akin to the charity on the take and one bad apple can partially spoil the bunch as trust in the sector erodes.  It is true this provides opportunity for the enterprising charity or consultant to separate oneself but this is differentiation by lowering the floor when we should, for the good of the sector (consulting and non-profit), be raising it.

To that end, it is time to demand more of ourselves, to demand simplicity and clarity and to recognize that that achieving it is difficult.  Therefore, achieving it is a notable goal.  As Mark Twain famously said,

If I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter.

Take more time.  And if you can’t achieve simplicity and clarity, then delegate the writing task to someone who can.  What and how we communicate matters.

Charities should be on the lookout for gobbledygook.  It is a sign the consultant is,

1)       Too busy to write simply and clearly

2)       Too lazy to do it

3)       Not capable of doing it and too busy or lazy to delegate to someone who can

4)       Is unaware of the gobbledygook.

5)       Trying to hide lack of knowledge and expertise in the subject

And what would a post on consultant speak be without a cartoon?