Boldly And With Outrageous Hope
Now that most of my fellow copywriters are focusing on year-end and holiday efforts, I want to share an unconventional but extraordinary appeal I received from an unusual source.
Margaret Battistelli is the energetic and skilled Editor-in-Chief of Fundraising Success magazine and, probably like you, I hear from her a lot via emails announcing webinars, awards, special events and a variety of other activities of interest to our trade.
A month ago I received an email from Margaret with a teaser I couldn’t resist: "Subject: A humble ask (and no I have not been hacked)."
Turns out the editor is also one good fundraising copywriter. You can download a copy of Margaret’s email to me here and I hope you’ll study it carefully. It’s a stunningly good example on how to write from the heart to an audience you know about real people and real needs.
Compared with so many e-appeals I receive, this one doesn’t have dancing and singing reindeer, no pumpkins that glow in the dark, no e-cards to download and not even a ‘donate’ button. It’s pure “me-to-you” communication; the stuff of great direct response fundraising.
The letter opens with an explanation of why Margaret is sending me this letter and wins me over quickly with the statement, that “if you’re going to ask…ask boldly and with outrageous hope.” Not only good opening copy, but good advice for all us fundraisers as well.
The letter/email appeals for help so Margaret can assist a friend who’s recently gone blind get his life in order by helping him pay a backlog of bills incurred when he first lost his sight.
As you read the appeal pay particular attention to the inordinate amount of detail Margaret offers up to explain why she’s doing this, why this somewhat unorthodox approach and, most importantly, why your money will make an immediate and lasting difference.
AND…in case the appeal raises more than needed? “If there’s anything left over, I’ll come up with a list of charitable options and ask each and every person who donated what they would like me to do with it.” Nice.
PLUS…The appeal offers a back-end premium, but not the usual chotchke kind of thing. “What I will send you in return is an awesome CD of rock and blues covers by my favorite local band…and one of my own personal family recipes — which if my mom were alive to know I was sharing, she would wallop me with a rolling pin! (Please specify omnivore or vegetarian.)”
In short, as you work on your holiday and year-end efforts take a look at Margaret’s appeal and approach your own “boldly and with outrageous hope.”
Roger
P.S. If you’re still determined to put dancing reindeer or the graphic or animated equivalents in you year-end e-appeals, why not test a simple “I-to-you” communication like this as well.
2 responses to “Boldly And With Outrageous Hope”
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Roger,
I’m right on the same page with you relative to Margaret’s letter. You hit the nail on the head!
Through all my years in nonprofit advancement, I’ve had the good fortune to work with some of the really “sharp heads” in direct-response fundraising — people like Alan Sack and lee Robbins, for example. From all of them, I’ve always tried to learn something that was demonstrably true and durable. Experience proved that most all of it was.
Even the experts have been known to counsel that an appeal letter should never be “long” (more than two pages) or “full of too much detail” (people aren’t going to read it all). While respectful of the experts and their written (and sometimes unwritten) rules, my own instinct always was to just tell the story and make it as real, emotional (within reasonable limits), personalized and credible as possible.
Margaret’s letter does all of that and more! Clearly, she was writing to a small and more familiar audience, but, as you (Roger) stated, it’s purely from the heart and about a real person and real needs.
In my own view, the principal lessons for all of us in this are: (1) to avoid putting on a detached, formal persona when sitting down to write an award-winning appeal letter, and to write it as though we were appealing to our own close friends; (2) to ask, and to ask “boldly and with outrageous hope” (I love that part!); and, (3) to strive to build nonprofit constituent relationships out of the same stuff as highly personalized relationships, so that they might produce similar results.
You are right; this was a terrific letter by Margaret Battistelli. To use Tom Belford’s familiar expression, she deserves a raise! Three cheers!
Thank you so much, Raymond. And thank you — again — Roger!
(PS… should anyone be so inclined, we’re still accepting donations. They can go to my office at 1500 Spring Garden St., 12th floor, Phila., Pa 19130.)