I Don’t Want A Relationship … Do I?
Roger and I are big believers in building donor relationships, based upon positive donor attitudes and experiences, in order to maximize donor lifetime value. However, reading this rundown on successful direct mail tactics employed by candidates in 2012 left me wondering … would I want a ‘donor relationship’ with any of these folks?
That led me in turn to: Does any giver really want a ‘donor relationship’ with a charity or nonprofit?
Are Roger and I simply hopeless romantics?
Maybe the candidate fundraisers have it right. In effect, they say: “We know you hate X, fear Y, covet Z, so just give our guy (or gal) your money and be done with it. We all know it’s just a one night stand. When this is over, we’ll go on our separate ways. Until we meet again.”
The charity equivalent would be: “Kids are dying of diseases they shouldn’t have. You either care or you don’t. If you do, send us a check.” You the prospective donor think: “I wasn’t even thinking about it until I opened this letter/email, but yes, I do care about kids. I’ll do my bit. I hope you don’t waste my money.”
C’mon, really, the charity just wants to get on with spending the money. And the donor just wants to get back to their everyday life. Relationship? You gotta be kidding.
OK, so I’m exaggerating a bit. In reality, all manner and degrees of relationship exist between donors and the organizations they give to. I might actually feel close to my alma mater, the local food bank or zoo or museum, the hospice that cared for my parent, or the group protecting my local river. Or I might not feel close at all to my alma mater, an international relief agency, or a Washington lobbying organization. In either case, I still give.
So, consider this.
I posit that behind every single donation made there is an impulse — strong and deeply felt, or weak and unconscious — to be connected.
Joined to a cause, a victim, a group whose values I share (a tribe, if you please), even just supporting (or going along with) a friend. In essence, giving is reaching out to someone, something. Even in the isolation of filling out a reply card or an online form, it’s an act of extroversion. It is, in fact, the first step toward a relationship, even if that’s not top-of-mind to the giver.
So, at the end of the day, every act of giving/connecting does have the potential to become a relationship. Whether that happens depends entirely on the reaction the giver receives when they reach out.
And that’s where you come in.
Tom
8 responses to “I Don’t Want A Relationship … Do I?”
Behavioral Science Q & A
Integrating an individual giving appeal with other communications from a charity can have both positive and negative effects, and the outcome largely depends on how it’s executed. Advantages of Integration Brand Consistency: Maintaining a consistent appearance and messaging across all communications can reinforce the org’s brand identity and strengthen brand recognition and trust among your […]
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I’m not aware of any in-market tests specifically comparing recurring vs. gift frequency language. I suspect the answer might not be the same with all gift frequencies, nor with all people. It sounds like a great opportunity for you to test and find out what works for your audience. Based on the literature, here’s a couple […]
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Based on what we know from existing data, those renewal notices can actually be pretty effective in getting people to donate. They tap into our psychology – creating a sense of urgency, reminding us of past support, and using personalization to make the message hit home. They’re playing on our natural tendencies to feel obligated […]
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Interesting question. I had a quick look at the testing done on this topic. On the positive side, in all cases, over half of donors decide to cover the fee. In some cases, it goes as high as 65%. Not a negligible percentage at all. Here’s another test from iRaiser showing consistent results (see point […]
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There’s just one thing to consider when designing a supporter journey: the supporter. More specifically, you need to take into account: Who the supporter is i.e. their identity, which is the reason they support this cause, and their personality, which describes the way they “see” and process the world. These will determine the kind of […]
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I’m not an expert in this but a quick search surfaced this article on the effect of tax reforms on 2019’s charitable giving. The researchers didn’t find a reduction. Actually, they observed an “increase in charitable contributions in 2019, even with the lower tax rates and the dramatically smaller number of taxpayers who itemize their […]
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Knowing that you were right to make a donation – yes.
Knowing that there are other people like you, affirming this – yes.
Knowing that your donation has made a difference – yes.
But what about a relationship? Research I have seen in the UK says that while about a quarter of donors want their money spent on the cause, not on building donor relationships, a further quarter want loads of feedback and involvement.
Don’t you need to know which camp each donor falls into if you are not to get this all wrong?
I suppose, in part, the definition of “relationship” matters. How does a donor (who wants a relationship) define a relationship? How does the organization define a relationship? And, as John said, determine which donor wants what kind of a relationship — and which donor doesn’t want a relationship.Sadly, I think most charities opt for the easier transaction/no relationships. And that means those charities are leaving good money, good advice, a web of connections on the table.
So what’s a relationship? Feeling like part of the team, part of the tribe, an honored player on the playing field rather than an observer sitting up in the stands applauding.
So what’s a relationship? Knowing that the charity recognizes my value, no matter my gift size. Fulfilling my own aspirations through my gifts to the charity – and knowing that the charity honors that. Experiencing mission through communications and activities that the charity offers me.
Connecting, as Tom said. Seeing the connection between me and my gift…and the cause. Because the charity shows that connection to me. Feeling part of a community web, a “safety net” that builds community. Seeing my values play out through my giving. All because the charity shows me this through relationship building.
“I don’t want a relationship with the guy who sells me aspirin. I just want my headache cured.” —Emily Soell
But every so often, Emily, the guy selling the aspirin turns out to be really interesting … and gives great foot rubs, too! Why can’t we have both? That momentary rush of dopamine from “doing what’s right” … with the occasional discovery of a nonprofit that’s fun, fascinating, loving of its donors. Maybe it’s not a marriage every time, but giving to the right cause(s) can be a meaningful amplification and application of a person’s values. And sometimes … it’s just a damn nice fit. And the last gift you get from a donor acquired via direct mail when she was in her 50s arrives at age 101, the same year she alas departs this earthly delusion (a real, and common enough, story). Was it a relationship? What else can you call it? A connection? A commitment renewed annually? The only danger I see in “relationship” is that it becomes an industry term of art, and practitioners forget it describes something incredibly vibrant, varied, and values-based; the way, perhaps, “leave a legacy” ultimately became, in my view, a rattletrap phrase without heart.
Bravo Tom. I couldn’t agree more with this statement, “behind every single donation made there is an impulse — strong and deeply felt, or weak and unconscious — to be connected.” But I would also take it one step further and say that they want the connection in part because it helps them define who they are and what they value. As Tom notes, ‘seeing my values play out through my giving.’
Agree that we humans yearn to belong. To be part of a tribe. When we give we demonstrate that we’re joining a community of like-minded folks who share our values. That gift can be a one-time transaction, yes. And the donee and donor will both get something out of it. But it can also become transformational — which is so much more. For that to happen, however, requires some work on the part of the recipient. It begins with a thank you that is prompt, personal and authentic. It continues when we engage our donors and treat them more like people than wallets or ATMs. When we ask donors for their opinions and advice. When we tell them stories that demonstrates the impact of their philanthropy. One-time gifts may help you balance your annual ledgers, but they won’t move the needle on solving your overarching problem or achieving your ultimate vision over time. For that, you need to build relationships.
Agree with nearly all of the sentiment above… but it counts for little unless us experienced folks can turn it into useful tools for fundraisers at the coalface to practically and pragmatically use day to day.
I see lots of teams who agree 100% with the idea of a looser ‘relationship’ based on an emotional connection… but struggle to use that knowledge to generate further donations or find more potential donors who think the same way, in a cost effective manner.
Can we help them from here?
“Research I have seen in the UK says that while about a quarter of donors want their money spent on the cause, not on building donor relationships, a further quarter want loads of feedback and involvement.”
Managing donor sentiment and relationship whilst minimizing administration costs is something that all non-profit organizations need to deal with. Research also shows that donors that are more engaged with the cause or charity are more likely to donate frequently and generously.