Sheila Martin-Stone: Pioneer, Activist and Friend Dead at 84
Sheila Martin-Stone, 84, whose pioneering work in mailing list management played a major role in building the fundraising powerhouse of direct mail fueling progressive causes and candidates, died Monday at her home in Oakdale, California.
In 1972 she founded Triplex Direct Marketing just as dozens of today’s household names in progressive advocacy—Common Cause, NARAL, NOW, Greenpeace, Amnesty International to name a few—were in their infancy and older groups like The Sierra Club, ACLU, the League of Women Voters were just beginning to use direct mail on a massive scale.
At that time –48 years ago– the concept of list exchange between nonprofits was new and greatly mistrusted. The corollary concept of eliminating duplicate names from among different lists –merge/purge– was equally new, unproven and also suspect.
Enter Sheila and Triplex.
By dint of both her skill and transparent business practices, and a tireless team head by Carol Robles, Triplex became the safe, neutral place—a direct mail Switzerland– where nonprofits could send their lists, have the exchanges with other groups executed and the lists merged and de-duplicated.
The result? An immense savings in time and expense avoiding the shipping of computer tapes (remember, there were no digital FTP sites in those days) to multiple service bureaus. A secure dormitory where virtually all of the lists that helped build the progressive movement were housed. In today’s press-of-the button secure list uploading processes this may seem ho-hum or humdrum. Back then the service was nothing short of miraculous.
So much for Sheila’s contribution that established the infrastructure and fine-tuned our ability to refine and process hundreds of millions of names quickly and inexpensively. The real loss for those who were blessed to work with her, as well as those who never knew her, is Sheila the magnificent human being.
Yesterday, as word of Sheila’s death circulated, I shared the tears and joy with others who worked, played, and marched together on causes that mattered (and still do). Direct mail fundraisers are a close-knit group. Kind of a Circus Family. And Sheila represented the best of all these traits. Brilliant practitioner. Party-organizer extraordinaire. Pal and confidant. Dignity, diligence and do-gooderism all rolled into one energetic magnificent human being.
Sheila the Activist. Sheila walked the talk. By day Triplex worked its magic to help build the membership in groups like NARAL, Emily’s List, NOW, the NAACP, Planned Parenthood and the Southern Poverty Law Center. By night and on the weekends Sheila was always present to write a generous check or put on her sneakers, grab a placard and march.
As a founding supporter of Emily’s List, she donated 
to advance pro-choice candidates and causes until the end as seen in the photo with Stacey Abrams at an Emily’s List event.
And when it came to adding her voice and presence to a cause Sheila could always be counted on as seen in the photo of a pro-choice march accompanied by Jennie Thompson of Planned Parenthood.
Sheila the Business Person. George Lizama, co-founder of Production Solutions neatly summed up the reasons for her success in business. “She never raised her voice or uttered a vicious word. In a high-energy frantic field, where almost everyone seems to shout, she kept it low and dignified. If she was wrong or erred she remedied it with lightning speed and the confidence of a general. Never a long, drawn-out discussion of a problem. Acknowledge it. Then fix it.”
Ten years ago Sheila exited the field professionally when she sold Triplex to Infogroup now renamed Data-Axle.
BUT…she sure didn’t exit her friendships and other interests.
Sheila the Art Collector. Over her life Sheila built an extraordinary collection of sculptures –more than 400 pieces—showcasing the talents of dozens of the world’s most original artists. This unique collection –The Sculpture Garden at Grey Gables—provides a moving insight into her inquisitive nature and her supportive personality.
Sheila the Un-Nutritious. I’m not sure whether that’s really an accurate term, but I can report that every meal I ever had with Sheila she picked out and discarded every green vegetable on her plate, and as best as I can tell subsisted largely on chocolate. Can’t say that’s “unhealthy” because Sheila lived a lively life for 84 years.
I can say her dining habits were lore among colleagues. As fundraiser Annette Kelly reports:
“I’ll never forget Sheila saying she was going to write a book titled ‘Croque Monsieur and Chocolate Mousse around the World’. How she travelled everywhere and managed to find what she wanted to eat. She persuaded me to buy a purple leather jacket in Quebec— where I am certain a lot of croque monsieur and chocolate mousse was consumed!”
Sheila the Party Person. For decades generations of direct mail fundraisers, veterans and newbies, looked forward to Sheila’s annual “Direct Mail Prom” at Washington, D.C.’s Willard Hotel. Far more elegant than any prom most of us have attended this annual found everyone cleaned up, in their best garb and on their best behavior.
As veteran fundraiser Craig Lamb puts it, “Sheila was the optimum of grace and certainly taught me how to be an adult and still have a lot of fun.”
Sheila the Friend. For 50 years Sheila was also part of the Craver Family (a sub-group of the Fundraising Circus Family) as together we celebrated births, deaths and her marriage 32 years ago to Mike Stone.
Caity Craver, now 43, sent me this photo of her 5 year-old self on Sheila’s knee with this note: “Dad use this photo, my legs haven’t looked as good since.” Sheila loved Caity’s sense of humor.
Other family and fundraising friends weighed in this morning. Among them:
Ken Smith, my partner in Craver, Mathews, Smith: “Sheila was quite the lady, quite the businesswoman and quite the friend. She left her mark.”
Ken Whitaker, head of Public Interest Communications, “A wonderful person ahead of her time.”
Perhaps Jennie Thompson, my fundraising partner and best pal for the past 50 years, put it the loss in this best perspective for all of us. “ Let’s keep this circle of love that Sheila created going and growing.
Goodbye and Thank You Sheila.
Roger
P.S. I wanted to get word of Sheila’s passing out as quickly as possible. I hope you will feel free to add your memories in the Comments section. Thank you. Roger
35 responses to “Sheila Martin-Stone: Pioneer, Activist and Friend Dead at 84”
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Roger, while the direct response profession has lost a pioneer, you have lost something far more important…a friend. I am sorry for your loss. May her memory be for a blessing.
Ah the history and the heroes and the friends of our sector, Monsieur Roger. Thank you for remembering and reminding us all. Simone
I will always remember Sheila fondly. From parties with shrimp the size of my fist, to reading dumps and dupe reports… I’m proud to have known her and to have learned so much because of her. Hugs to you, George, Jenny and Caity. She may be gone in body, but her spirit remains.
Roger, thank you for this beautiful and moving memory of Sheila. You perfected captured her personal and professional presence and impact. We need more people like her who care deeply about their friends and become a friend to those around the world in need. May her memory indeed be for a blessing.
P.S. LOVE the picture of your daughter with Sheila!
Sheila was an extraordinary person..her grace, her wit, her love of life and people. Her professionalism was unmatched. She will be sorely missed and all of us who were lucky enough to know her will keep her memory and pass along all the lessons we have learned. She bettered lives all over the world and I hope we all continue this in her memory.
Roger, thank you for this wonderful tribute to a awe inspiring women.
Thank you for introducing me so lovingly and in full detail to one of the greats, Roger. I am so sorry for your loss.
Sheila was truly an extraordinary human and her leadership in our industry – particularly for women – truly changed the lives of many of us. We walked miles further because of the path she blazed for us. I am forever grateful for her and so sorry for your loss, Roger.
Most evidence that 2020 has overstayed its welcome. Sheila saved my bacon more than once over the years. And I am grateful for that. Along with her love of baseball and generosity in sharing her fab tickets. My condolences to all who loved her. And my gratitude for the paths she forged.
I’ll never forget meeting this remarkable, pioneering and elegant woman, known affectionately as the Grande Dame of direct mail, and having her pull out a box See’s chocolates every visit. As a fairly young newbie to DC, the Triplex party was legendary and an honor to be invited. My deepest sympathies go out you, Roger, and all who counted her as a close friend. I’m honored to have known her.
I got the See’s Candy idea from Sheila and Susan Anstrand. Was always a successful meeting if we brought See’s!
I never met Sheila Martin-Stone, but thanks to your splendid tribute, Roger, I feel like I have. Thank you for this testimonial to a trailblazer. And for the wonderful photo of Caity! My condolences on the loss of a dear friend. 2020 sucks.
Thank you Roger for the nice tribute. When I began working at Names in the News, Sheila and Dick Hammond were legendary. It is because of her savvy fulfillment and great customer service that I strived to create a successful List Management Division there. I am so sad to hear of her passing and know that many of you have wonderful memories of her. May she rest in peace. We will not forget her legacy she left in our industry.
Oh, what a loss‼️ My 15 years working for get at Triplex were the absolutely the best in my employment years. What a generous, kind and loving person. She will be Greatly Missed‼️
Thank you, Carol, so very much by including me about Sheila. What a loving, generous and thoughtful woman. My 15 years of working for her at Triplex were my best. She will be surly missed. 🙏❤️
What a lovely tribute, Roger. As an avid and intuitive art collector, Sheila loved to visit me in Santa Fe. We had many art trolling experiences, which I treasure.
Sheila was my “Big Sister” on DMA’s Board of Directors; what Irish good luck! Sheila’s legendary style, standards, love of friends, family, dogs, art, chocolate, steak, Corvettes, all things French, celebrations, champagne and good causes will live on. She elevated our industry, enhanced our lives, sharpened our awareness, won our hearts. Excellent tribute Roger, to a great woman, a profound friend. A gift to us all.🌹
Roger, thank you for this tribute to Sheila. She was a remarkable woman and ran her business like all the clients were family. And, with all of the terrific causes, we are family! I have many fond memories of the annual Willard-Hotel parties in DC (she hated that all of us called it the “Direct Mail Prom” but I told her once that it was an honor to have it labeled that way!), visiting Triplex in Novato, dinners with Sheila (“I don’t do vegetables” she used to say to me, while I was working for Nutrition Action!), getting the annual Spring box of See’s Candies with the note always saying “Cheers!”, touring Muir Woods with her, going to Giants games with her…at the old Candlestick Park and the new park (she had laryngitis for the 2002 World Series, 1st game of the series in San Francisco, and she gave me her tickets…what a treat!), and seeing her in 2019 at her final art party at her home in Oakdale. Her commitment to service in her business was more than admirable–she was the last outpost for getting phone voice-mail, because she strongly believed that every caller should hear a live voice! She will be missed, but her spirit will live on.
Beautiful tribute Roger. In my 29 years at World Wildlife people came and went, but Sheila was a constant. She treated everyone like family and she ran Triplex like a well oiled machine. I looked forward to the annual Willard soirée. And will never forget the celebratory hot air balloon ride over Napa Valley she took the WWF team on when we reached 1 million members – with her help!!
Sheila was unfailingly polite and generous as a person. As a businesswoman, she was the best there is, and treated us as friends rather than clients. I’ll never forget when she gave me tickets to a World Series Game in SF — along with her gloves so I wouldn’t be cold in Candlestick Park. She’ll be remembered and missed.
The sun is a little dimmer today but the stars are brighter because Sheila has joined them. Kindness, chocolate and laughter and graciousness she leaves behind. Let ring bells today as a way to remember her. Sorry for your loss, Roger. Much love.
I am sure she sent in her absentee ballot!
What a remarkable woman. I am grateful to have worked with her both as a client and an employee. I remember fondly and with great admiration.
To all of Sheila’s family, friends & former co-workers,
As a Triplex employee many years ago, I forged a deep respect for Sheila & her nonprofit work as well as some of the most meaningful friendships in my life. May you find comfort in knowing she was so well loved & relish in those wonderful memories.
Rest In Peace,
Karen
Roger, my friends have said it all, and said it all very well above. I just want to add a thank you to you. You always honor our leaders and legends as they pass. I’m always so very grateful to you for that.
The sun is a bit dimmer today but the stars in the heavens are brighter now that Sheila has joined them. Gracious, kind, funny, engaging, smart, thoughtful so many wonderful qualities in one person. Sheila was remarkable. I loved that she would wave and ring the bell at her house whenever guests were leaving as a sign to come back soon. She made us all better people. And she loved chocolate, a kindred spirit indeed! I do hope she got her absentee ballot in before she left. I trust she and RBG will handle the recount if it is necessary. Roger, I know your heart is hurting today. May your wonderful memories give you some comfort. Sending love your way,
Anne
Sheila was a daughter to mom & dad ( Fred & Winnie Stone) from the moment they knew her. She was a secretary I think at Foremost & brother Mike helping running McKesson i think. . He stopped 1 day, I was told, & said she was waisting her time, had far too much ability and could do great things! Was too good for that job. She started that amazing Company and life then, in an old trailer in back of a friend’s old gas station, via a long extention cord. Girls take note!! My mom called her her “double daughter”!! Felt she was her daughter from the moment they met her. Long before she and Mike married.. Then, eventually married Mike. She did amazing, personal, things for many in our family. Always anonymously!! After years we all knew when someone’s crisis was “magically” aided, we just knew “Sheila was at it again!” She was truly the Stone family angel. Loved dearly by ll who knew her. Daddy loved doing the big “ranch pit Bar-B-Qs” each year for her Triplex company family, raising St
Bernards and llamas with her at the ranch. My granddaughter carries that name proudly!!
I was blessed to be Sheila’s nephew. She bought my 1st record player and The Beatles Magical Mystery Tour Album back in 1969. Thank All of you for your Kind comments ,I Knew my Aunt was kind of successful but had NO IDEA How successful until I read all of your comments. When she was around Family she never honked her own horn ,I do remember she was quite proud when she got the Charles Shultz account the Peanuts creator.
I was at her Labyrinth opening it was quite the event ..and was at 1 of her Garden Parties, ,I think it was 101 F in the shade that day ..She would visit me in Raleigh NC from time to time,, and we would meet up at home in Chicago for Family events and sometimes just drive around in her rented Mustang to look at all of the old places we lived in.
She will be missed by ALL of her Family and Friends..
I was a client of Sheila’s on the commercial side, led to her by Dick Hammond; and then we became friends for fifty years. When Mike Stone and then my wife Linda tired of attending DMA meetings (who didn’t), I became Sheila’s date at her soirees. She picked the food and chocolate; I chose the wine. ( this was before Jennifer took over). Wonderful memories, wonderful person.
If I might beg an addition: Sheila the Mom. Sheila joked that when she married my dad (Mike Stone) she became “a mom of 7 overnight and without the trouble of labor pains.” Her love and grace has been a blessing for us.
Sheila the family side; as sister Sharon shared, when Sheila’s and Dad’s vows where done, she had just entered into a family of 9. Mike Stone, our Dad, Sheila and the seven Stone kids, who would proudly refer to Sheila as Momma-Mike after Dad passed. I enjoyed her calm, mindful presence listening to stories, sharing jokes , talking sports and simply being with us and loving us just as we were, her true loves children. I am proud to have been loved by Sheila our Momma Mike and will miss her deeply and our Sunday calls to check in. It’s been a true honor having such an amazing person in my life. Gone but not ever forgotten. Loads of love and blessing to all who knew her… xoxo Dennice Marie Stone
Sheila was my aunt. My mother had twins and an extra name was needed so she named me after her special little sister. It was special for me to tell people where my name came
Sheila was without a doubt a special one of a kind person Her love for her family and friends was huge and her generosity knew no limit to whoever needed it. As little girls Sheila would let my sister and I brush that long beautiful hair
She gave us our first manicure sets with nail polish ..doing our nails was important as well giving us our first Channel #5 a
She was a car enthusiast as we all know In 1961 she hopped in the blue Corvette she worked 3 jobs to pay for left the Windy City and headed to SF.
I was with her during the Alameda years as she was starting Triplex. She also acquired her first Jablonsky while living there 😀 From a little office on Hegenberger Rd in Oakland to another place in Berkley where she could rent computer time She put in ungodly hours and made incredible personal sacrifices to achieve the success she did
Sheila was all about family. So many wonderful family gatherings at Grey Gables along with the amazing garden parties
Did you know…early 1970’s Sheila got her pilots license. It was a secret. I think she may have had a plan to work in SF and fly in from Monterey ?
One of her first jobs when arriving in SF was retail at a store called The White House. She also sold bomb shelters. Somewhere there is a newspaper clipping of that.
Reading these tributes here is healing. She was a class act that left her mark on all of us
When Sheila left us it was on “National Be Nice Day”. Let us all honor Sheila and carry on with her love kindness and consideration to others as she lived her life Cheers as she would say. ❤️
Dear Roger, it grieves me to read of Sheila’s passing. She was such a delight when I first met her in mid seventies (through Ed Briggs at Names in the News), and then when I started at Sierra Club in 1977 with the mission of dramatically increasing their direct mail membership program, we were all off and running. Our direct mail acquisition was unstoppable with the talents of Triplex and Names in the News supporting us, and I relish the memories of those days. The lunches, the chocolates, the laughs, the wine … heady days. Sheila was an iconic woman entrepreneur at a time when young feminists like myself were looking for role models; she was so impressive at the same time she was so much fun. And then not too much later we also met you and the Craver team, and every time you came to the west coast, things got even better. When Tom and I married in 1980, Sheila gave us the most beautiful art glass pieces, which are in my living room to this day. Our wedding included west coast Craver team (Peter Taggart) and Ed Briggs from NIN, among others from our direct mail families. Good times, I miss those days and all of you. Thank you so much for your always eloquent words and this touching and heartfelt ode to Sheila Martin.
Thank you for this wonderful tribute. I was fortunate to work for Sheila for 22 years at Triplex. I loved working there and never saw Sheila veer from her qualities of loyalty, dignity, and integrity. And never saw her eat a vegetable. She was always up for fun, whether it was naming the fork-lift, having a Cinco de Mayo party, or giving everyone personalized chocolate on Secretary’s Day (which she converted to employee’s day). So sweet of her to loan me the lunchroom tables for my wedding. I was honored to be included in her summer garden parties. She celebrated life in the way she lived it and I admired her so much.
So much love for all that has been said here about our amazing friend/mentor/boss Sheila. Thank you Roger for giving us this space where we can come together.
Imagine being 19 yrs young and your first biz trip to NYC was traveling with Sheila and staying at The Plaza Hotel. I will never forget my first client meeting at the top of Penn Plaza and it went smooth-as-silk only to find myself back on the ground floor and Sheila telling me what every teen from the burbs wants to hear “Good work and now you have the rest of the day to play” and off she went leaving moi in the Big Apple to fend for myself! Wow was that ever a lesson in learning how to hail a cab (fail) and walk in high heels all the way to Saks to buy a pair of flats and continue on to The Plaza. It was the longest 2 miles. Sheila taught great lessons and this one set the course for all future travel – be prepared for anything and wear the right shoes!
I am forever grateful and blessed to have served during a unique place and time that was Triplex in the 80-90’s. Sheila, a most remarkable boss and a compassionate friend, who brought the tissue box closer and began tearing up when I told her of Guy’s cancer at 27. Sheila’s door was always open.
Two of the greatest honors in my life have been to know Sheila Martin Stone and to be a Triplexian. Cheers to Sheila for leading a wonderful life that inspired us all. 🥂
Thank you for this review of Sheila busy life. I knew Sheila at Foremost Dairies, where she was a standout, and I knew Mike and Carol as well. Good people. I thought of them over the years as each was a person you just would remember! I was saddened to see of her recent passing. She is missed by many.
In 18 years with Triplex, my work did not bring me often in personal contact with Sheila. However, after learning of her terminal illness, I was quite frequently in touch with her. Carol told me that Sheila loved to receive funny and interesting emails. So, I tried to brighten her days with some humor or with videos and pictures of sculptures, paintings, music or nature and was very glad she enjoyed them. To my email with a beautiful Provence lavender field, she responded, “Hope to get there again someday,” which really touched my heart. Sadly, it was not meant to be on Earth, but I am sure that up in heaven Sheila will be walking in lavender fields.
At 84, Sheila is gone but will be remembered not only as an impeccably dressed, gracious, classy, fun loving, adventurous lady but, above all, as the most generous and caring employer anybody could ever have.
So long, Sheila. May God let you rest in peace.
Hope it will be of comfort to her relatives to know that Sheila was so loved and respected by so many people.