Just when you were getting ready to really settle into your summer slumber, the call came … “The boss wants to see you … just a quick review of what’s cookin'”

Panic! The boss hasn’t asked for you since that tragic meeting last November when you had to admit that your take on Giving Tuesday was less than the previous year. At least you didn’t get fired! (Clever to blame it on your online consultant … they got the ax.)

So, what can you take her? You know she’s been looking for good news since your CFO had his stroke at the mid-year budget review. You need something quick and readily understandable.

Here are the possibilities that spring to your mind.

• You’ve doubled the number of monthly givers since June 30 last year.
• You’ve come up with a great idea for tapping into the Pokemon Go craze.
• Your retention rate is a full 10 points higher than a year ago.
• You’ve just finished your website re-design and people say it’s really flash … cool font and lots of black.
• You just got the returns on your massive Spring acquisition drop and they’re the best in three years.
• The lifetime value of your donor pool is up 15% year over year.

OK, you immediately drop the last one. Non-starter … way too complicated. You know you’ll get three sentences to make it or break it.

For some CEOs, the Pokemon Go idea might be a winner. Whatever you personally think of it, you’re in survival mode here. Your mind races … she does spend an extraordinary amount of time playing with her mobile?

If your CEO is under 30, the website re-design might be a good bet for winning kudos. Just be sure that all the homepage links are working.

But otherwise, you’re left with three weighty options — monthly giving, retention rate, acquisition.

If I were you, here’s what I’d do.

I’d lead with the acquisition results. Everyone loves ‘new’.

Furthermore, I’d explain that your big score on acquisition really took some serious skill and unique insight … nobody else in your category is finding peanuts, let alone new donors. Whereas any fundraiser who can read could put into practice Roger’s book on retention, or follow the advice of Harvey McKinnon or Erica Waasdorp on monthly giving, and look like a superstar. “But there’s no book on acquisition,” I’d say, wagging my finger at her.

Then, finish with a quick and dismissive … “And now that I’ve also hugely boosted both our conversions to monthly giving and our retention rate, these new donors will be worth a fortune … I want a raise or I’m outta here!”

You need to make these brief moments with the boss memorable.

Or, you could just take her a pair of new virtual reality goggles.

What achievement would you take to the corner office?

Tom