We Regret To Inform You …
INTER-OFFICE MEMORANDUM
To: Belford Sunday evening
FR: Craver
RE: Your Request for Day Off
The Agitator’s Human Relations Advisory Board has given careful consideration to your request for a one-day leave on 18 February .
I regret to inform you the request has been denied.
Although The Agitator has a large U.S. readership … and although we do traffic occasionally in direct mail … and although Monday, President’s Day, is an official U.S. holiday and there is no mail service, the Advisory Board was adamant in its refusal of your request.
As the Board noted: 1) we have other readers around the world to serve and you have a significant post on the schedule for Tuesday that has not yet been completed; 2) you already had two days of leave in 2009 (although our records are a bit fuzzy on this); and 3) the fact that you do not reside in the U.S. gives you no right to claim a U.S. national holiday.
Further, the Board is mindful that we have no confirmation of your current nationality (ies), so granting this request could open a Pandora’s box of future ‘national holiday’ leave requests.
Tom, on a purely personal note, given our many years of working together, don’t even think about sneaking out and setting your Skype status at “Online” while fishing or otherwise shirking your duties.
Roger
P.S. I’m not chauvinistic but I do want you to remember that the U.S. has technologically superior drones that can reach everything and everyone, everywhere. Even though we can’t deliver the mail.
4 responses to “We Regret To Inform You …”
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Dear Roger & Human Relations Advisory Board,
I feel honor bound to inform you that by the time I received your decision regarding my day off, Monday was effectively over in New Zealand. Having not heard from you, I took Monday off. Apparently I was not missed … something I will keep in mind for future holidays.
Your dutiful servant,
Tom
Drones? The Agitator NEVER drones. Its loko-down, shoot-down radar is however as accurate as any UAV.
So, your indentured scrivener Blot Formed can run, but he can’t hide. (anagram)
We ex-oppressors of the Colony of America wish President Washington a happy 281-first birthday.
Sincerely,
George III
HAHAHAHA! Thanks for making me not feel so bad that I”m working on my day off…while my child yells at me to play with him. 😉
Sorry to hear your misery. I had the day off, despite the mountain of work waiting for me at the office, I stayed home & cleaned my fishtank. My fish are ever gratefull to Alberta Canada for allowing us our Family Day off.