- “This modern, edgy design really makes me think positively about this charity!”
- “I don’t feel educated enough about this cause to donate to it. Please give me more facts.”
- “Your logo isn’t big enough!”
- “Tell me again about how visionary your founder is.”
- “Please give me information about what it is you don’t do.”
- “This message is not consistent with the charity’s brand guidelines. No way am I going to donate!”
- “Puns! Wordplay! Finally! Now I’m on board with this cause!”
- “Would you please tell me more about your wonderful wealthy donors who give far more than I ever could?”
- “That reading level is too low! You insult my intelligence! I will never donate again! I spit on your mother’s grave!”
- “Please — more acronyms. I hate it when you spell things out.”
- “I get a warm feeling when you complain about how hard it is to raise funds.”
- “Noted.”
- “Wow! That’s like my third impression from your campaign this month! Bravo!”
- “Every time I see another photo of your well-heeled donors and board members all dressed up and drinking champagne at parties, I feel more disposed to donate.”
- “Your jargon really impresses me.”
Here’s to worry-free weekend for you. And an Agitator raise for Jeff.
