You or We?
Fundraising 101 says to lace copy with you so the donor “feels like the hero.” Nice sentiment until the wrong person reads it and flinches.
- When people with higher self‑esteem hear “you did it,” they thrive.
- People with lower self‑esteem do better when they read “we did it.”
Simple reason: the right pronoun lets them feel responsible for the outcome, and that feeds competence, one of motivation’s key renewable energy sources
How to spot who needs which word?
Don’t worry—you don’t have to hand out a Rosenberg scale.
1. Use the Big Five lens DonorVoice already scores
DV’s trait tags drop right into your database, so this segmentation is a lookup, not a research project.
2. Read the situation
Touch‑point Safer bet First gift, reactivation, uncertain campaign We – give them cover Impact report, upgrade ask, peer‑to‑peer event You – let them own the win
3. Blend when you can’t decide
“Because you spoke up, we kept every family warm.”
Competence isn’t ego‑fluff; it’s the confidence to act again. Pick the pronoun that lets each donor claim the win in a way that feels right to them, and watch one‑off gifts turn into momentum.
Test it and then smile when the numbers move, because you (and yes, we) earned it.
Kevin
Behavioral Science Q & A
Thanks so much for raising this. Yes, capturing donor information can be helpful for stewardship like newsletters, thank-you letters, impact updates. But how you ask matters. Forcing full data capture introduces friction that can significantly depress conversion, many donors may simply abandon the process. Beyond the friction itself, required fields also shift the emotional experience […]
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Unlike holidays that everyone already knows, Giving Tuesday is a created event. Many donors recognize the name but not the exact timing, so referencing it becomes a helpful cue. It serves as a reminder and taps into social norm activation (“everyone’s giving today”), which boosts response. However, we still want it paired with the mission, […]
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When a subject line leads with the match (“Your gift matched!”), it risks triggering market-norm thinking: the sense that giving is a financial transaction rather than an act rooted in values, identity, and care. This shift reduces intrinsic motivation and, over time, can weaken donor satisfaction and long-term engagement. It also makes the email indistinguishable […]
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There’s no evidence that QR codes suppress mid-value giving; all available research suggests they either help or have no negative effect. In fact, behavioral and usability research consistently shows the opposite: reducing friction at any point in the donation process increases completion rates and total response. And that has nothing to do with capacity and […]
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What you’re experiencing is very common. Resistance often isn’t about capability, but about motivation quality. If board members feel pushed into fundraising, that triggers controlled motivation (low quality motivation) i.e. obligation, guilt, or fear of judgment, which often results in avoidance. Instead, we need to create conditions for volitional motivation (high quality motivation) by satisfying […]
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That’s a really thoughtful question, and you’re not the first to raise it. Many of our clients have been cautious about placing the ask at the very end. To address their concern, we’ve tested both approaches, and the results are clear: when the ask comes last, even if that means it appears on the second […]
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